agentotter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
agentotter) wrote2010-02-06 10:36 pm
agentotter) wrote2010-02-06 10:36 pm
Personal failure: it is just how I roll.
Today I was supposed to run my first 5K. I was all excited about it and proud that I had become One Of Those People Who Runs a 5K, and then I woke up and it was raining and I couldn't get my brain to work, and I just kept going back to sleep, and it wasn't long before it was just too damn late. So, you know... that was a waste of a perfectly good entry fee. But hell, I didn't need my pride anyway.
It's just, I sort of have this terror of new experiences. And I routinely engage in a bit of what you might call "negative self-talk." Like instead of thinking about how I'm going to have a great time and how cool it'll be to go running with a huge group of people, I think about how I don't have any rain gear to wear and how I'll get lost a million times and be late and miss the last bus to the starting line and...
Yeah. And then I spend the rest of the day (or possibly the week!) hating myself for being a coward. It's awesome. You know, in that way that totally isn't awesome. Constant self-loathing really gets tired after awhile.
tl;dr: WAH WAH WHINEYCAKES.
And then I gave my Juno a kiss on the nose and I felt better. The end.
It's just, I sort of have this terror of new experiences. And I routinely engage in a bit of what you might call "negative self-talk." Like instead of thinking about how I'm going to have a great time and how cool it'll be to go running with a huge group of people, I think about how I don't have any rain gear to wear and how I'll get lost a million times and be late and miss the last bus to the starting line and...
Yeah. And then I spend the rest of the day (or possibly the week!) hating myself for being a coward. It's awesome. You know, in that way that totally isn't awesome. Constant self-loathing really gets tired after awhile.
tl;dr: WAH WAH WHINEYCAKES.
And then I gave my Juno a kiss on the nose and I felt better. The end.