(no subject)

Okay, nobody warned me that if you were Big Banging you'd have to be up at the asscrack of dawn to claim a story or they'd all be gone. Srsly.

Alright, they aren't all gone. But there were so many gen stories and by the time I got there there were only 3 left! (I'm greedy and claimed two, so now there's only one. I pity the other fools who didn't know to be up early.)

On the up side, holy smokes are there are some summaries, and there are going to be stories to go with them, and even artwork, and omg! I've never Big Banged before and now I'm kind of stoked on it. (Also, I like that when I say "big banged" it kind of sounds like an epic sex act.)

Also, it's Monday, and outside it's windy and rainy and generally unpleasant, and also I'm at work again and it's Monday. WTF. How did that happen? NOT ON, Monday. I'm officially putting you on notice.

(no subject)

Two teens accused of beating a Mexican immigrant to death walk away with a simple assault conviction. Once again proving that it's okay to beat the shit out of people until they die! Good job, jury of white peers!

In Los Angeles, two people die in hit-and-run accidents. The way their two cases are handled by police and city officials and perceived by the public are very different indeed.

Once again, prosecutors overreact to "child pornography". This time they prosecuted a 59-year-old grandmother. Good job, guys. I'm sure she was beating off like crazy to that picture of her grandchild in the bath.

So, European eels have declined about 95% in the last 25 years. My favorite part of every story like this is when fishermen complain that insistituting tighter catch limits and other preservation measures will result in the death of the fishing industry. Well, yes. I totally respect you and your trade, fishermen, but it's also going to result in the death of the fishing industry when the animal is extinct and it's not there to fish anymore. And Canada's cornered the market on "solving" the catastrophic collapse of their fishery by starting up a clubbing-seals-for-no-good-reason industry. If the eel fisheries go the same way, you guys are just going to have to diversify. Find something to club. Maybe kittens?

Mother is punished and fined 'blood money' for losing her unborn child in an automobile crash. 'Cause that totally makes sense. If you're criminally insane.

In Colorado Springs, children must now ponder the question: does that skeevy guy in the van want to molest me, or bring me to Jesus? Probably both. Meanwhile, I heard a story on NPR this morning (there's a similar story online here) about military chaplains in Iraq urging soldiers to go out and do the Lord's work and get the natives to convert. Oh, religion. You're such a breeding ground for psychosis. It's adorable.

Over here there's a cool article about plant intelligence. Dig it.

I was just talking to my mom last night about how organizations attempt to remake themselves not by changing their practices but by giving themselves a friendlier name -- like her local nuclear waste disposal company, which now calls itself "EnergySolutions." I wouldn't turn to them for any sort of solution, though, unless you want a shoddy version of the MacGyver treatment: they attempted to seal a leak in a transport tanker's hosing with duct tape. As you might imagine, irradiated solvent + duct tape = fail. Apparently Utah regulators won't be fining either the trucking company or the truck operator for leaking a half-gallon of toxic sludge onto the public roadway, because they don't "have authority" over either. Not exactly sure what good regulators are then, exactly.

In other news entirely, I desperately want these. That looks like the best idea of all time. I haven't ever spent that much on a shoe, but when I'm in the position to do it, I so am. (See previous re: never having spent that much on a shoe. Occasionally you just have to.)

And finally, if I went to leave my house and found this outside the door? I'd know it was a Monday. Also, I'd pee my pants. THE END.