agentotter: a raven against stormy skies (Default)
And a few more items from the depths of the interwebz...

The reddit link reads, "Douchebag lady kills elephant with a bow for a bet." Yep, that about sums it up. I'll see your "douchebag" and raise you a "WTF?!?!?"

In other news, I'm not sure why "douchebag" has become an accepted insult again. I picked it up from reading J-Squared fiction -- apparently Jensen and Jared like to say "douchebag," or writers just imagine that they would -- but I don't know how the rest of the world got on the bandwagon. Unless... *gasp* THE REST OF THE WORLD IS READING J-SQUARED FICTION TOO. I KNEW IT.

Discover magazine has the best NASA satellite photos from the last 50 years. Zounds! The solar storms nearly blew my mind. I sort of expected John Crichton to come rocketing out of the middle.

Apparently graphene is like... really awesome? I don't understand chemistry, you guys. Or micro-anything. If it's smaller than an actual multi-cellular organism, I just tend to not be interested. Or in any way comprehend. I'm sorry. I'm leaving all interpretation/commentary on this news item to you. Suffice it to say that this is probably another important step to flying cars, which at this point are LONG OVERDUE. (Are you listening, science? WHERE IS MY FLYING CAR?)

This sign should read, "Watch for Signs."

On a much less light-hearted note, there's a new documentary coming out about Japanese dolphin slaughter, and dolphin captivity in general. It's also a story about Richard O'Barry, who trained the dolphins for the TV show Flipper and later became an "abolitionist for dolphins." Very interesting stuff. I recommend not reading the comments, though. No, seriously. Don't read the comments. You won't know what that one guy was talking about and you will absolutely not want to know.

And okay, whoever said that thing about the 16-year-old and the Patriot Act smelled fishy, the law enforcement types are saying he's not being held under the Patriot Act. Damn it! How am I supposed to formulate my conspiracy theories when the authorities don't play along?! Foiled again.

But surely this one is a joke: Canada considering the inclusion of seal skin on Olympic uniforms "to promote seal products." Oh, Canada. I love you, but that is f'ed up and stupid. The reason you need to promote seal products is because nobody wants them, and the seal hut is ridiculous. What you need to do instead is create jobs for all those out of work fishermen -- you know, the ones who were out of work after your cod fishery collapsed and so you gave them clubs and told them go kill seals instead? Them. Give them like... real jobs. Or just put them on the dole and tell them to stay home. I don't care. I just don't see why it's the fault of seals. They really don't need to be bludgeoned to death, honest. Please write your MPs and tell them to stop being such jack-offs. See above re: dolphin slaughter. Just. Being. Stupid.

Okay, that's all. For sure.
agentotter: a raven against stormy skies (Default)
Let's start with a happy before all the crushing depression. This video of a freighter's night run through a harbor is so awesome I could just watch it all day long, for serious.

Additionally, this Amazon item has the best user reviews OF ALL TIME.

Now, to begin the horribleness: Ohio county raids hippie co-op. Is this the beginning of a war on food? Somewhere in their lava-moated private island fortress of doom, Monsanto executives are laughing themselves silly.

Finally someone's talking sense about law and order. Aw, Canada! You're so cute. Bless. I don't know why you crazy hippie greenies wouldn't want to perpetuate a US-style war on drugs. I mean, we've only been losing ours for several decades. I'm sure it'll turn around any day now.

Here's a very short but very interesting opinion piece comparing "enhanced interrogation techniques" and their effects to rape. So ask yourself: if Abu Zubaydah had been raped 83 times, would we be talking about no legal consequences for his rapist - or the people who monitored and authorized the rape? It's an interesting way of looking at things, though I would argue that no, probably we wouldn't care if these men had been subjected to literal rape (and I can't say I'd be surprised if they actually were), simply because we seem to think that people who are raped in prison somehow got what was coming to them -- whether they're inside for murder or possession of marijuana. The threat of sexual violence is like a tool in the arsenal of our criminal justice system.

Oh yeah. I'm having an optimistic day today.

Huffington has an amusing post today with highlights of Fox News' creative editing skills and how they use them to make people look like they said exactly the opposite of what they actually said. I'm pretty sure the people at Fox News have actually gone insane and are now building their own bomb shelter in the basement. They will stock it with interns whose flesh they will feed to Glenn Beck to keep him from destroying them all in the coming end-times. I mean, they've seriously gone over the line from "kind of kooky and not what you'd call news" to "raving fucking lunatics."

While using seized criminal assets to fight crime sounds like beautiful, beautiful poetic justice, this just one reason why it's a profoundly stupid idea. I've read several stories lately also about police in Tenaha, Texas, robbing passing motorists under the guise of law enforcement. Amazingly, despite all the attention this town has been getting for this practice, nobody's been arrested or lost their job or been removed from office.

Meanwhile, redeeming my faith in humanity, a homeless man in Winnipeg jumped into the Red River and rescued a drowning teenager. See? We really can all get by if we look out for each other. And also, don't accidentally jump into rivers. Kthx.

The Guardian today has a video about miscarriages of justice. It looks interesting, but I haven't been able to watch it yet since I'm at work. So mostly this is a note for me for later, but you all can tell me if it's any good, too. ;)

Marion Barry's at it again, folks: But I didn't realize I was voting for the homos! I want a do-over! Oh, Barry. How are you so lame?

This one needs no introduction save its own title: Carl Sagan On Why Aliens Would Think We're A Planet Of Idiots. Did he come up with the thesis on his own, I wonder, or did he watch a lot of Farscape? Heh.

16-year-old jailed under Patriot Act. Due process: who needs it? Apparently nobody.

And here is the story of Diego Garcia. It's so depressing I can hardly stand it. And now I'm just putting myself in a funk (and sharing it with the interwebz!) so I'm gonna stop. Uuuugh.
agentotter: (end of the world)
Two teens accused of beating a Mexican immigrant to death walk away with a simple assault conviction. Once again proving that it's okay to beat the shit out of people until they die! Good job, jury of white peers!

In Los Angeles, two people die in hit-and-run accidents. The way their two cases are handled by police and city officials and perceived by the public are very different indeed.

Once again, prosecutors overreact to "child pornography". This time they prosecuted a 59-year-old grandmother. Good job, guys. I'm sure she was beating off like crazy to that picture of her grandchild in the bath.

So, European eels have declined about 95% in the last 25 years. My favorite part of every story like this is when fishermen complain that insistituting tighter catch limits and other preservation measures will result in the death of the fishing industry. Well, yes. I totally respect you and your trade, fishermen, but it's also going to result in the death of the fishing industry when the animal is extinct and it's not there to fish anymore. And Canada's cornered the market on "solving" the catastrophic collapse of their fishery by starting up a clubbing-seals-for-no-good-reason industry. If the eel fisheries go the same way, you guys are just going to have to diversify. Find something to club. Maybe kittens?

Mother is punished and fined 'blood money' for losing her unborn child in an automobile crash. 'Cause that totally makes sense. If you're criminally insane.

In Colorado Springs, children must now ponder the question: does that skeevy guy in the van want to molest me, or bring me to Jesus? Probably both. Meanwhile, I heard a story on NPR this morning (there's a similar story online here) about military chaplains in Iraq urging soldiers to go out and do the Lord's work and get the natives to convert. Oh, religion. You're such a breeding ground for psychosis. It's adorable.

Over here there's a cool article about plant intelligence. Dig it.

I was just talking to my mom last night about how organizations attempt to remake themselves not by changing their practices but by giving themselves a friendlier name -- like her local nuclear waste disposal company, which now calls itself "EnergySolutions." I wouldn't turn to them for any sort of solution, though, unless you want a shoddy version of the MacGyver treatment: they attempted to seal a leak in a transport tanker's hosing with duct tape. As you might imagine, irradiated solvent + duct tape = fail. Apparently Utah regulators won't be fining either the trucking company or the truck operator for leaking a half-gallon of toxic sludge onto the public roadway, because they don't "have authority" over either. Not exactly sure what good regulators are then, exactly.

In other news entirely, I desperately want these. That looks like the best idea of all time. I haven't ever spent that much on a shoe, but when I'm in the position to do it, I so am. (See previous re: never having spent that much on a shoe. Occasionally you just have to.)

And finally, if I went to leave my house and found this outside the door? I'd know it was a Monday. Also, I'd pee my pants. THE END.

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