the wages of sin don't adjust for inflation

I have a new crush. I have a new crush that is so epic in its epic-ness that I'm not sure "crush" is even the right word.

His name is Henry Mallet, he's an 80s British punk rocker who loves gourmet cheese and the word "fuck," and also, he's a ghost who's haunting a former hotel in Sydney, Australia. The only ones who can see him are a dentist named Suzy (Henry's dead, but he's still better at living than she is), a cat, and a pony called King Leopold.

I hope I don't sound too much like some sort of fandom hipster when I tell you that one of the best shows I've ever seen is a show that nobody else I know has seen. :D But my mission now is of course to make you all see it. ALL OF YOU. If you're a member of any of the comms that share these sorts of things, have a look for Spirited. You can also watch the episodes in parts on Youtube. I'm embedding all of the parts of episode 1 below so you can get a taste of the greatness.

I know you've all probably got a million people giving you TV and film recs every day, but I hope you will trust in my taste and the fact that this show has single-handedly reignited the fannish flame I thought I'd lost forever. The ficcing possibilities are endless. (And because I know you're slash fans, you should know that the supporting characters include three gay men, one of them a cross-dresser, who all live together in a three-way relationship that pretty much everybody treats as perfectly normal.)

Please give Spirited a chance. If like me you become an addict, you can find the rest of the episodes also on Youtube (or if you want/need downloads, comment and I'll do my best to direct you or make it happen). There's a comm at spirited_w and there just isn't enough fiction yet. The show's already been renewed for a second season (and two more episodes than the first season had!) so you won't even have your heart broken right after falling in love! The music's awesome, the acting's awesome, the cat's fucking awesome, and it's just the best of everything, really.

So here is episode 1, "The Man Who Fell to Earth," and I hope you enjoy the hell out of it.

Hello friends! I don't have much to say today. You may be interested to know that I am utterly failing at NaNo again, and also my dog has taken to peeing in the house. I HATE YOU TRUDEAU DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME. I think it's because he has new roommates in the form of two golden retrievers. On the up side, he has not eaten their faces off.

In other news, I just happened across this movie trailer today: The Eagle. Now, I don't know who was possessed by madness and thought, "I know! Channing Tatum!" but just from watching the trailer, friends, I can tell that you are going to enjoy this movie. I'm going to enjoy it because it has Romans and horses and Romans on horses and generally speaking that's all I need in life. But you're going to love it because it looks like the most slash-tastic slashiness that ever did slash. I mean, seriously, it's hot master/slave love/hate Roman-on-Gaul(?) action. With some guys random who look like maybe Africans? I'm so confused. But I don't care.

Romans. Horses. Like I said.

Speaking of films: Cowboys & Aliens: Best idea ever, or best ever idea? Discuss.

In other other news, I'm doing another send-me-your-photos drive to drum up a bit of pet portrait business. Anybody want a pet portrait? I'm trying to go crazy with watercolor and inks and stuff. Experimentation ftw! If I didn't get to your photo last time and you'd still like it to be artified, please send it again. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. I'mma make arts.

In other other other news, there is no other news. It is really cold here. I expect that soon we will be buried in snow. We who are about to learn to snowshoe salute you.

Hello Internet friends! It's so nice to be here on the Internet again, even though I'm doing it from a coffee shop. Did you know how long it takes to download TV episodes over coffee shop Internet? A long time, is the answer.

ANYWAY, I need your help, oh wise friends on the Internet. Before I moved, malnpudl was helping me learn to play her guitar. (It's because I'm terribly inspired by Glen Hansard. I can't help it.) I wasn't very good at it. Then I moved and didn't have a guitar at all, but I mentioned it to my coworker and he was all, "Oh, you can borrow my spare!" So now I have a borrowed guitar (yaaaay!) and no idea what I'm doing (boooo!). Can any of you recommend tutorials or books or videos or... anything? I have absolutely no knowledge of music, music theory, how to read music, how to read tabs, or anything else related to what I'm attempting to do. It's just, I really want to be able to play. Mal got me started on some chords but I can't play any songs. Actually, I can't switch between chords without it sounding like rubbish. I'm just a little... lost.

One of the cool things about my new job is that out on the ranch, we have a mostly-weekly barbeque followed by a campfire. We all sit around and people who can play play and people who can sing sing and I sing along kind of quietly because I'm not good at it, but I'd really like to learn how to play one of the simpler Swell Season/Frames songs, like What Happens When the Heart Just Stops, so I can play something at campfire. It'd be awesome. And terrifying. And awesome.

Speaking of my singing voice, a few years ago when I posted my wtf-life-manifesto, a story about a girl named mitch, I mentioned being displeased with the timbre of my voice... my feeling is that I speak in a range much lower than what ought to be my natural range. (My voice wears out very quickly when I speak, and the more knowledgeable I'm trying to sound, the deeper my voice gets.) I've wanted for a long time to do some sort of voice coaching to find out what I could sound like, but feel that's kind of a stupid idea because couldn't I just try speaking at a different pitch and fix it myself? But I can't. I've tried. Do you have any idea how hard it is to change your own speaking voice? Hard, is the answer. So I'm wondering whether anybody has any advice on that subject? DVDs? CDs? Books? Anything? In-person voice coaching might eventually be possible, if I can find somebody in the area who does it, but I'm not sure I'd be able to afford it. Any advice?

Today, my day has been yo-yoing. Things are going well, and then it all goes south, and then it's looking up again, and then I want to throw myself off a building... it just isn't right. I can't handle this kind of stress, people.

So I IMed abbylee and demanded that she cheer me up, and she sent me youtube links of adorable people being ridiculous, and magically, it worked. And then I went and found some more, and lo, my mood is lifted. So I thought I'd share the joy, just in case anyone else out there is having a day like mine.

Ewan McGregor and Craig Ferguson being adorable together

Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel sing the confrontation song from Les Mis. It's kind of epic.

James McAvoy and Craig Ferguson being adorable together

Neil Patrick Harris on Ellen.

Eddie Izzard and Craig Ferguson kick it up to 11. (And here's part 2.)

Neil Patrick Harris talks about prank-calling Mekhi Phifer.

I'm sure you've all seen this by now, but in case you haven't, Craig Ferguson recently did an episode which was rather irregular for late-night TV: just a single episode with a single guest and the two of them having an actual conversation. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

In other news, I have been watching American Idol and while I won't bore you with all the Idol chatter you're probably subjected to by everyone you know, I do feel it's important to mention that I love Lee DeWyze. If you also love Lee DeWyze, you should check out The Beautiful People, All Right, Predicament, and whatever else you unearth on youtube. THE END.

Via one of my RSS feeds: a masters student is doing a thesis on time spent alone; knowing all the introverted types on my flist, I thought you guys might like to help a student out by taking her survey.

I just can't hold it back, people. I just can't. You need to watch this.

Stephen Colbert interviews Republican strategist Mary Matalin. And while he's doing so, he has his "Republican talking points bingo" out, so she tries not to use any talking points. Which means she doesn't speak much. I lol'ed.

And when you're done with that, BEHOLD: Jon Stewart brilliantly skewers Glenn Beck by... acting like Glenn Beck. It's a shame that the people who really need to see it don't actually understand satire and parody. They're the same ones who think Stephen Colbert is totally legit. LOLZ.

In other news, I just called one of my student loan places to get a forbearance while my loan consolidation is in process. They were totally helpful and super-nice, and you know, that moment when you actually resolve something that's been hanging over your head for months, instead of hiding and curling up in a ball? It's kind of awesome. There's a little rush to it. I think it might even be beautifully freeing to have a "to do" list with all the day's shit ticked off for once. So I have come up with an awesome strategy for overcoming my epic avoidance of making phone calls: in addition to the usual stuff of making a list of numbers the night before, getting the calling out of the way first thing, etc etc, I have realized that if the rep who answers on the other end is a complete dickhead, I can make an excuse to hang up, call back later, and probably speak to a different person.

I just BLEW MY OWN MIND, people.

Oh, movie trailers. They have you pegged, I'm afraid.



I think that was the best movie I've seen all year, and it wasn't even a movie.

In other news (by which I mean "links I got off reddit"), here's a Newfoundland language guide to use of "b'y". I know exactly one of you who will be interested, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be useful when I sneak into Canada and need to fool the Mounties into believing I'm a native. (Note to Mounties: I am not actually planning on sneaking into Canada. There is no need to arrest me. Kthxbai. (Kthxb'y?)

Some science-types at MIT have figured out how to turn polyethylene, a common insulator, into a conductor. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SCIENCE? Smart people are awesome.

Here's another excellent reason to pass healthcare reform: apparently Rush Limbaugh will leave the country if we do. Hopefully we won't have to pay any other nations to take him. I'm not sure exactly where he thinks he'd go that would make him happy, but apparently he's planning on Costa Rica. Where they have socialized health care. Yeeeeeeeeeeah.

In other news, there's now a "sustainable" Formula 1 racing car, which apparently is made out of stuff like carrots and potato starch. And it's fueled by chocolate, which makes me weep for all the chocolate that could've been eaten by me instead. (Okay, it's not actually fueled by chocolate. If I'm understanding the article correctly, the fuels are derived from oil-based waste products from chocolate factories. Which if the factories are Hershey, means that there's no actual chocolate involved anyway.)

And finally, here's a deeply awesome new kind of Martian-explorer robot: the Tumbleweed rover.

Just in case any of you need a little lift as much as I do, here's Glen Hansard of The Swell Season and The Frames, covering a traditional tune called "The Parting Glass."



And just for the record, if I should die I would like for Glen to perform this song for me at the wake. In fact, I think I need to devote my life to becoming so wildly successful that I'd be the sort of person who could pay for Glen Hansard to come sing at my wake. :D

Speak of the auto repair man and he shall call your phone. IT'S OK, I DIDN'T NEED ANY OF THAT MONEY ANYWAY. I LIKE MY CREDIT CARDS MAXED OUT. OMGWTF.

I am not going to cry, and I will tell you why: because that actually doesn't help anything. (Damn it.)

But hey, at least somebody is having a worse day than me: California State Senator Roy Ashburn was picked up for DUI... after leaving a gay bar. This is an item of note because Ashburn is one of that esteemed club of intensely closeted homosexual politicians whose political agenda is anti-gay. Dear Senator: We don't give a shit that you're gay. We care about this story because you're an asshole. (The Fresno Bee, by the way, is notable as its coverage simply fails to mention the more scandalous -- and one would think newsworthy -- aspects of the case, like that the Senator was leaving a gay bar and that he had a hookup in the car with him when he was pulled over.)

In other news along these lines, I keep meaning to mention that I recently watched a fantastic HBO documentary film called Outrage, in which the filmmakers take to task a number of national political figures who are in the same boat: they vote consistently and ardently against any sort of basic rights for homosexuals, while simultaneously being closeted themselves. What really amazes me about most of these men is that they aren't doing a great job of keeping their secrets: one would think that a person could just pretend to be straight and not, for instance, frequent gay bars or have gay relationships. I mean, plenty of closeted people have done it for decades, and it's horribly damaging but it is possible to live a lie in all sorts of different ways; we ask every gay member of our armed forces to do it every day. But instead, these guys tend to have had illicit or open affairs, go cruising the clubs, and generally behave as if they're people who can afford to be seen at these venues. And you know, I'm all for the inclusiveness of the gay community, but I don't understand how guys like this can show up at a gay club and not be beaten to death by an angry crowd. Normally I'd be extremely against outing anyone -- especially doing it on television -- but I can't find a single thing wrong with this film. It was fantastic, and if you have the chance, you should watch it.

Oh, and by the way, here's another Catholic sex scandal for you, but at least this time it's all about consenting adults. Consenting adults who like cock, apparently.

And in conclusion, I still don't know why anybody gives a shit whether anybody else is gay. It kind of freaks me out that straight people are so obsessed with anal sex. LOOK IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT JUST TRY IT OKAY? It's not like the gays are holding out on you. Straight people can do it too. Nobody's telling you what to do in the bedroom. (Although in the case of all these bitter old men, maybe they'd be better off if somebody did tell them what to do in the bedroom, because clearly they're not managing satisfying performance all on their own.)

In other news completely, here are some additional interesting links for today:

Apparently Mariska Hargitay and Kathy Griffin had a lesbian kiss scene in an episode of Law & Order: SVU, but it was cut by NBC. WTF, NBC. I thought the male 18-45 demographic was like solid gold to you people.

A 12-year-old girl on a Chilean island saved pretty much everybody from a tsunami. Girls are so fucking awesome.

Meanwhile, a woman in Saudi Arabia who had the nerve to file harassment charges without being accompanied by a male guardian has been sentenced to 300 lashes and 18 months in prison. Stay classy, Saudi Arabia.

Apparently dinosaurs are older than we thought -- by about ten million years. YEEEEEAH!

And finally, somebody on Reddit implored, Reddit, please share how you got over social anxiety and awkwardness. A lot of people would find it useful. Thanks in advance. I of course found this a terribly interesting topic, and a user named "eyeball_kid" totally blew my mind. His response? "Realized that being self conscious and awkward was really just another form of narcissism."

My world is now officially tipped onto its axis. Thank you, eyeball_kid. No doubt it is an all-seeing eyeball you have there.

Things I am not young enough for anymore: staying up all night. Oh, dear sweet lord, I am not good with staying up past 11pm anymore. At all.

But my doggie is sick and it's kind of easier to let him out of the house every five minutes so he can think fondly about puking and eat a lot of grass (omg, he grazes more enthusiastically than my horse) when I'm already awake.

I was kind of freaking out about torsion for awhile there, but I think it's all good... I finally gave him a couple of tiny meals of kibble to see if he could keep them down, which got him to drink, and he's managed to keep both in his belly. And then I got even smarter and gave him a painkiller, so if his tummy hurts he at least doesn't have to be so miserable about it. He's now sleeping comfortably and has been doing so for a longer stretch than he's managed previously.

I didn't really need to share that with you all -- dog hacking up a lung, hooray! -- but at this hour, honestly, you just want someone to sympathize with your misery. That is all.