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get thee behind me, unbifurcated DEVIL!
Apr. 14th, 2009 11:28 pmOMG, you guys. I had to share this. Then I'm sleeping. Honest.
So I was looking up some info I need to order the kilt I'll be wearing to my sister's wedding. And somehow by an act of Google I arrived here: It Is Sinful for Men To Wear Kilts!
Come on. You know I had to click that shit.
I will sum up the contents for you, in case you want to avoid being brain-burned by the stupid:
1. [Photo of two men wearing kilts, probably from a catalog. They are looking at each other. One is happy and smiling and looks like he's out for a nice stroll. The other one looks slightly like an angry punk rocker or something.] Website copy reads: One only has to look at the above photo to see what's wrong with kilts or skirts on men. It's disgusting! Well, clearly. Wait, what?
2. Kilts are effeminate. Also cross-dressing. Also, sissyish. Website copy reads: A quick look at any bathroom door will quickly reveal that men wear pants, and women wear dresses. I don't know why it wasn't obvious before. I'm now going to align all of my gender norms to things I learned from looking at bathrooms. Preferably bathrooms in gay bars. That is the kind of social gender norm I could get behind.
3. Kilts, being "soft raiments," are worn by rich people and sissies and not Joe the Plumber. Website copy reads: Jesus said in Matthew 11:8, "But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings' houses." John the Baptist was rugged, as a man should be. The men who lived in the palace wore "soft" clothing, i.e., they didn't look or act like REAL MEN. I've never seen a construction worker wearing a kilt. I've never seen a truck mechanic or a coal miner wearing a kilt. I only see men with clean jobs, or playing bagpipes, wearing kilts. Kilts are for men in the palace, not for John the Baptist type men ... real men! Sorry, religious wack jobs, I have to disagree with you there. I'm all for gender norms and bathrooms with glory holes and whatnot, but when you call a kilt a "soft raiment" you go too far. Did you realize they're made out of wool? And not the gentle "sissy" kind? Soft isn't really the word I'd use. Also, I'm not sure why construction workers and coal miners are "real men." I'd guess that most of those "real men" of the Biblical age would've loved a cushy job in the palace, if they could've swung it.
4. Men in the Bible didn't wear skirts. They wore skirts over robes. So basically if you wear a kilt with a long dress underneath you're fine. I guess.
5. Clothing which was transparent, tight fitting, loosely worn, or exposed intimate parts of the body were considered the ATTIRE OF A HARLOT (Proverb 7:10).
Jesus, I'm glad we cleared that up. I feel so much better.
So I was looking up some info I need to order the kilt I'll be wearing to my sister's wedding. And somehow by an act of Google I arrived here: It Is Sinful for Men To Wear Kilts!
Come on. You know I had to click that shit.
I will sum up the contents for you, in case you want to avoid being brain-burned by the stupid:
1. [Photo of two men wearing kilts, probably from a catalog. They are looking at each other. One is happy and smiling and looks like he's out for a nice stroll. The other one looks slightly like an angry punk rocker or something.] Website copy reads: One only has to look at the above photo to see what's wrong with kilts or skirts on men. It's disgusting! Well, clearly. Wait, what?
2. Kilts are effeminate. Also cross-dressing. Also, sissyish. Website copy reads: A quick look at any bathroom door will quickly reveal that men wear pants, and women wear dresses. I don't know why it wasn't obvious before. I'm now going to align all of my gender norms to things I learned from looking at bathrooms. Preferably bathrooms in gay bars. That is the kind of social gender norm I could get behind.
3. Kilts, being "soft raiments," are worn by rich people and sissies and not Joe the Plumber. Website copy reads: Jesus said in Matthew 11:8, "But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings' houses." John the Baptist was rugged, as a man should be. The men who lived in the palace wore "soft" clothing, i.e., they didn't look or act like REAL MEN. I've never seen a construction worker wearing a kilt. I've never seen a truck mechanic or a coal miner wearing a kilt. I only see men with clean jobs, or playing bagpipes, wearing kilts. Kilts are for men in the palace, not for John the Baptist type men ... real men! Sorry, religious wack jobs, I have to disagree with you there. I'm all for gender norms and bathrooms with glory holes and whatnot, but when you call a kilt a "soft raiment" you go too far. Did you realize they're made out of wool? And not the gentle "sissy" kind? Soft isn't really the word I'd use. Also, I'm not sure why construction workers and coal miners are "real men." I'd guess that most of those "real men" of the Biblical age would've loved a cushy job in the palace, if they could've swung it.
4. Men in the Bible didn't wear skirts. They wore skirts over robes. So basically if you wear a kilt with a long dress underneath you're fine. I guess.
5. Clothing which was transparent, tight fitting, loosely worn, or exposed intimate parts of the body were considered the ATTIRE OF A HARLOT (Proverb 7:10).
Jesus, I'm glad we cleared that up. I feel so much better.