are you fucking kidding me right now?

[agentotter]

On the subject of completely weird and awesome animals, this spider escapes predators by turning itself into a wheel and rolling away. NO I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THIS. And you know something? It gets crazier, because it isn't the only animal that does that. This toad does, too. Jesus Christ, Nature. Are you just sitting around bored and going, "Oh, I know! I'll make a lizard that walks on water and a sea creature that can punch with the force of a .22 bullet!" Fuck you, Nature. Stop screwing with me.

For something else that's fucking incredible, watch this: 9-year-old pwns professional goalie with exhibition shot. And that one gets better, too: another 9-year-old did the same thing with the same shot back in 2007. (So I guess that makes this latest one a total copy-cat.) Not only is it an awesome shot, but I just love how the goalies sit there like, "WTF!"

In other news, a Louisiana judge has refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple. From the article:

A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

I can only assume that he's afraid that any children resulting from this marriage will become Democratic presidents of the United States.